Happiness Is A State Of Mind

Learning to be Happy with Less

2010-08-21T09:04:00.002-04:00

A lot of people are writing books and blog posts about downsizing and simplifying your life. Sounds like a good idea, right? Before you can downsize and simplify your life, you need to learn to be happy with less.

There is really no step by step check list that will teach you to be happy with less. Like all self improvement, being happy with less, is something you just have to sort out for yourself.

If you want to learn to be happy with less, you are going to have to do a little soul searching. A good way to start, is to unplug yourself from the media, and your daily routines for a little while. Take a three day weekend, and unplug your TV, stay away from your computer, the radio, the newspaper, turn off your smart-phone, etc...

Spend some time taking long nature walks, and sitting quietly in your back yard, all the while thinking about all the clutter in your life. Do you really need all those material goods complicating your life, and sucking money out of your pocket? Many of the things we've accumulated through the years have an on going cost associated with them. Extra cars, boats, rv's, way more lawn tractor than our property needs, swimming pools, extensive cable or satellite TV packages, etc...

How often do you really use all that stuff anyway? If you aren't using it on a regular basis, you can be sure, it's more trouble than it's worth! All these things require time and/or money to maintain. You need to go to work to get money, and going to work means less leisure time. Your leisure time needs to get divided between actual leisure activities, and maintaining your goods and property. See where this is going?

It's really just a question of figuring out what you get enjoyment from in life. The answer is different for all of us, that's why it's important to unplug from the media when trying to discover what really makes you happy. We are constantly being marketed to, and it's an advertiser's job to make us think we need what they are selling.

I'm not suggesting that you whittle your possessions down to what you can fit in a milk crate, and living in a one room shack. But you may be able to work less, and retire earlier if you stop wasting resources and effort on all those things that aren't really bring you much happiness anyway.

The bottom line is to think about what you really want from life, focus on it, and enjoy the hell out of yourself. Stop wasting time and resources, and start living!

Bad Attitudes Aren't Cool!

2008-05-31T13:32:00.003-04:00

Sometimes, in todays ever casual when it comes to language world, bad can mean really good or cool. When it comes to "Bad Attitudes", bad really does mean bad!

I've been a non-conformist as long as I can remember. When I was growing up, many of the friends I attracted into my life seemed to me at the time to share my disdain for conformity. When I look back on my life from my mature vantage point I can see that most of them just had "bad attitudes". As a mature, well adjusted, adult (still very much a non-conformist), I encounter a great many people with bad attitudes who conform very much to societal pressures, mass media, and marketing. My attitude has always been an allowing attitude, though I may not have fully realized it in younger years.

Let me explain what I mean by "allowing attitude", it's kind of a two sided idea. In my mind, I've always felt that people should be allowed whatever it is that pleases them or brings them joy. The other side to it, is that I want to allow all the things that bring me joy to come to me. If a person puts on an ugly mask or a bad attitude that's not going to be very inviting to any happiness or joy.

Think about what kind of attitude you have. Are you walking around with a chip on your shoulder? Maybe it's time to stop and evaluate just what kind of things that "chip" has brought into your life. Changing your attitude is easy, and you are the only one who can do it. No one else can change it for you.

New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-04T10:44:00.000-05:00

It's early January, and many people are talking about the changes they want to make in there lives. Some are expressing hopes of making the coming year better than the last. I don't understand why so many people wait for a milestone day like New Year's, to try and make their life what they really want it to be.

In my mind, who I appear to be today is a reflection of who I was yesterday. I don't make New Year's Resolutions! I'll change what ever it is I don't like about myself or my behaviors and habits any old day of the year. I sometimes even break it down in smaller increments, and change my thought and behavior patterns in an instant, not even waiting for a new day, month, or year!

I guess if the perceived prospects of what the new year may hold for you, is some kind of motivator causing you to make changes and mold life more to your liking it's not such a bad thing. All too many start out hot and heavy with unrealistic personal goals, and quickly get discouraged when they can't live up to their own expectaions. Sweeping all of last year's bad habits and short comings under the carpet over the course of one night seems like a tall order to me.

My personal self improvement approach is to be a better person today than I was yesterday. For two reasons...

1.Baby steps are a lot easier to take than olympic feats!

2.There is no time like the present! Why wait for some imaginary line in time to get what you want in life?

A strategy I mentioned elsewhere on this blog, was to set your self up for a good day by starting out with an easily achieved task, progressively moving on to more challenging ones. Success feels good, and puts you in a frame of mind to follow it with more of the same. Why not take the same approach to changing your life for the better? Pick something you can chage instantly, and be done with it before moving on to something that's more of a challenging adjustment.

No matter what, changing your life to reflect more of what you want and love is a truly great thing. No matter what vehicle you choose to make those changes or what the catalyst may be...I wish you well.

It's so Simple I think I've covered it All

2007-10-24T09:38:00.000-04:00

The original aim of this blog, was to communicate my thoughts on how you can find contentment and achieve a simple happy life. My ideas are so simple, that I think I've expressed them all to you. At least the core ideas, that make me content and happy. I constantly evolve those philosophies on a personal level, and you should also.

So for now, I think I'll cap this blog off with this post. Maybe as we head into winter I'll realize something that I forgot to outline here on the blog...at which point I'll post it for you all. There should be plenty of concepts already posted on the blog. Those of you who are interested in trying to work these ideas out and apply them to your own life will certainly need some time to do so.

Good luck! I know you can find happiness and contentment if you really want it. Just remember to get out of your own way!

Take care...

P.S. Don't be stingy and try to keep all this info for yourself! Share it with anyone you think may benefit from it.

How to Simplify for Contentment

2007-10-16T10:26:00.000-04:00

In my last blog post I talked about simplifying your life to help acheive contentment. I linked to a very helpful book on the subject. In this post I'd like to discuss some of my own ideas on the subject. Hope I can help you strip down to find happiness!

One of the first places to start is your driveway. What are you driving? Is it an expensive brand new car? With high monthly payments, and the need for fire and theft insurance mandated by your lender? Sell it if you can still recoup enough to pay it off. Buy your self a nice used car. Chances are you can buy it outright, or at the very least you will have a much lower monthly payment. Add up the cost of your monthly car payments and your insurance for a year, and then way that against the sum of your yearly income. Are the numbers you see really worth it?

Next step, your garage,attic,basement,shed...or wherever you store all that stuff you thought you had to have, but never use. You know, the old hobbies you no longer persue because you have to work so much to support that fancy new car! Old comic book or coin collections. Fishing gear...whatever you've got that you don't use anymore. Pretty much if you haven't touched it for 12 months...you don't need it. Take all that stuff and sell it on ebay, or have a big yard sale. I think you'll be surprised at how much cash you can put in your pocket doing this. It doesn't matter what price that stuff brings. It's just sitting there collecting dust and getting moldy, because you think you are going to go back to it someday. Let it go. You'll feel lighter and happier instantly. Trust me, I've done it. I used to be a knife collector, and I've sold off my collection. Granted, I still have more knives than any one person will ever need! Most of the knives I've kept I actually do use through out the course of a year. Even if it is only here and there. It felt so good to let the ones I never had any intention of using go. I didn't even have the space to display them to appreciate their aesthetic value.

Once you start shedding some of these material possessions, you'll wonder how you ever lived with them weighing you down. You can use the money you make from selling them, toward paying off your house or saving for retirement. Another idea is to use the money to buy things you actually need to use now. Remember...all those new things...when they start to get pushed into storage, get rid of them instead!

'Tis the Season, to SIMPLIFY!

2007-10-11T11:36:00.000-04:00

It's fall, and we are headed toward winter and the holiday season. In my opinion there is no better time to take stock and simplify your life. Fall and winter put you in the right frame of mind to cut excess baggage loose, and free your burden. Don't just think of excess baggage in terms of physical things...emotional baggage needs to be cast off as well.

Simplifying your life is one huge step toward true happiness and contentment! A lot of that un-needed baggage you have is causing you a great deal of stress and concern. Much of it is a financial burden as well. Here is a link to a great book to help get you moving in a more simple direction...SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE This book mainly deals with getting rid of the physical clutter, but a resourceful reader will be able to apply these ideas to mental clutter as well.

The more simple your life is, the easier it is to be content. Less stuff equals less stress! How's that for simple?

Everything in Life Boils Down to Choices

2007-09-27T11:40:00.000-04:00

Let's face it. Everything you have or don't have comes down to a choice you made, or chose not to make. It's that simple. If you want to find true contentment...you need to realize the choice is up to you. I don't care if you are on death row, or on Wall street...you made a choice, or a series of choices that put you there.

As I've said before, I realize a lot of what I'm saying will be diffucult for some to hear. Sorry, but that is the harsh reality of finding a path to contentment. The good news is, if choices put you in the spot you currently hold...you can choose to change that spot. So, why not start putting this little tid-bit of knowledge behind the choices you make from now on?

If you feel that you consistently make bad choices, it's time to do what ever you need to do to rectify that! The answer may be as simple as finding a different support sytstem. (i.e. get new friends) Perhaps you may need to seek professional help, to learn how to make better choices. Either way, it's well worth doing!

Everything about your life hinges on the choices you make. You'll never find contentment with out making the right choices...the choice is up to you!

Smile and Think about How Good You've Got It

2007-09-26T10:14:00.000-04:00

Short and sweet post today.

You've all heard the old adage, "No matter how bad you think you've got it,there is somone worse off."

Guess what....it's TRUE!!!

So, no matter what...SMILE AND THINK ABOUT HOW GOOD YOU'VE GOT IT!

How To Tell if You Need To Change

2007-09-25T08:45:00.000-04:00

Many people think their perspective and outlook on life is just fine the way it is. Yet they aren't experiencing true contentment at all. How can you tell if this is the case with you or not?

In today's post, I'll be looking at some of the possible signs.

1. You constantly make negative statements about things in your life.

Examples would be, saying you are unhappy...at your job, with your spouse, in your town, with your level of income.

It's up to you to either change the things you are not content with, or change your perception of them. In other words, not being happy at work does not always require that you change jobs. It may be possible to reevaluate your current standing and change the way you look at it. This can make all the difference in the world. Let's say you aren't happy with your current pay scale, and the only way for you to increase it involves two possible options...One, you take on a postition at your current job that is more demanding and requires greater responsibilities. The other option being that you change your skill set, and get a higher paying job. If you aren't willing to do opt for either choice you can do something else. You can add up the pros of staying in your current position at your current place of employment. Once you start counting up all the little perks and trade offs, you may gain a very postive out look on your current status.

2. You are extremely affected by the performance, actions, or appearance of others around you.

This is a sure fire way to see you aren't content in your life, and you may also have some self confidence and/or self esteem issues.

If you are constantly looking outside yourself for a sense of validation, comfort, or well being...You need to break that cycle! If you are putting that much energy into individuals who are living thier lives and doing their own thing....you need a serious reality check.

3. You feel like no matter how hard you try, you just never seem to get ahead.

Maybe you are stepping on your own toes. Self sabotage is a common problem. If you feel that you're always falling short of your target, maybe it's time to evaluate why that is. Make sure you aren't stifling your own happiness and contentment.

How do you Measure Happiness and Success?

2007-09-24T08:38:00.000-04:00

One very important thing to consider, is the benchmark by which you measure your own success and contentment. You need to spend a great deal of time and energy looking inside, finding what you truly want for you. Find a path and stick to it. As Carlos Castaneda once said, "All paths are the same: they lead nowhere". Wise words indeed! It's very important to find the path that will truly bring you joy and contentment.

Never measure your happiness, and success by a gauge that does not apply to you or the path you have chosen. In other words, don't measure yourself up to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. They are following a completly different path than you. Even though ultimately, their path leads nowhere just as yours does. Hopefully their's is the right one for them.

If you are a lower middle class factory worker, and you are measuring yourself against rich and famous people...you will just never be content. Just as if you are rich and famous and measuring your life against people who aren't living in the fast lane. It's just never going to pan out if you use the wrong scale!

So just as it's important for you to look within and find the proper path for yourself. It's important to always measure up against your own personal scale. One that is appropriate for your particular path.

Stop Driving a Wedge Between Happiness and Yourself

2007-09-20T08:28:00.000-04:00

As I was reading through my previous blog posts yesterday, something occurred to me. It seems like what I'm saying is, "the only thing standing between you and happiness is YOU!" That is precisely what I'm saying. This concept may be quite difficult for some of you to accept. That's basically the key to finding happiness, GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!

Too many people site some external force as being a barrier to their contentment. If they would stop looking outward and focus their attention inward, they'd actually be able to affect their own prosperity. Let's stand up and be adults. Take responsibility for your own personal happiness and success.

As hard as it may be to face, the sooner you realize it all hinges on YOU, the sooner you will move toward attaining happiness and contentment. You can achieve anything you want, if you allow yourself.

I'd Love To...,But I Don't Have Time :(

2007-09-19T08:50:00.000-04:00

Ever hear anyone say that. Maybe you are constantly saying it yourself. Today, we are going to take the time to evaluate this statement, that I hear so often.

Let's think about this. The average person has a job of some sort. The typical work day is 8.5 hours. I saw a news poll that put the average commute time
between 26 and 46 minutes depending on traffic conditions. Let's call it it 35 minutes. That's 1 hour and 10 minutes commute to and from work. That puts our time set aside for work up to 9 hours and 40 minutes a day. Of course, if you really want to be thorough you could subtract the time spent on breaks at work from the toatl, since it's our time!

The number of hours recommended for adults to sleep is 8. Studies have shown that most Americans fall short of this by at least an hour. In some cases even more. Let's say you do get the recommended 8 hours. Added to our 9 hour 40 minute work day, that's 17 hours and 40 minutes. With 24 hours in a day, that leaves us with 6 hours and 20 minutes.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that other than sleeping, working, and commuting...how you spend your time all boils down to personal choices. You may say, "But I have responsibilities!" My response is simple. First, list of of the responsibilities you have. Next, put a check next to all the ones you invited into your life by choice. My guess is most of you will be putting a check next to most of those items on the list. If you have invited all of these alledged obligations into your life, can't you just choose to forgo them? This would certainly free up some time. If you don't want to give it up, that's a choice. Obviously, you want it more than what ever thing you don't think you have time for.

Basically, you need to break down how you spend that 6 hours and 20 minutes, evaluating if you'd rather do what you do with that time or do one the things you don't have time to do. If you are already happy with how you spend that time, you need to ask yourself why you are longing to do something else with that time. I would think if you are doing what you truly want, you should be satisfied.

One thing to keep in mind is television. I've seen studies that show the average American wathes 4 or more hours a day of television. Seems like a waste of time to me. At the low end of the spectrum, 4 hours takes a big chunk out of that 6 hour and 20 minute block! I'd like to suggest taking on a life enriching hobby, instead of spending all that time in front of the idiot box! Think of the benefits.

One last thing. If it sounds to you like I over simplify things...maybe your life is unnecessarily complicated. I'll leave you with that food for thought.

Is your Job Really Worth Stressing Over?

2007-09-17T08:31:00.000-04:00

Many people that I encounter, get all stressed out and worked up over thier job. Even after they are far removed from whatever situation caused them to get all jammed up in the first place. Is any job really worth so much anguish? I'm not saying, "Get rid of your job." I'm saying, "Don't get needlessly worked up about your job."

As long as your employer stays a float, and keeps paying your weekly salary...there is nothing to stress about. Let's face it, you do it for money. If you get your money, why worry?

Often, what seems to get people most stressed at work, is when they have an idea that could make things easier...or they feel that someone is doing something that wastes time or money...and their employer doesn't seem to do anything about it. If this is your problem, I can clear it up for you right now. I'm going to clue you in on something, your employer is in business to make money! They more than likely only really care about the bottom line. If it seems like they aren't addressing what you feel is some huge concern, that is costing them money, at least in your opinion. It probably isn't hurting their profits! Guess what, if it was...they would address it quite quickly!

Another big reason for people's workplace anguish, is that they are not content with what it is they do for work. Don't stress over this one! Just get another job! If you don't have the skill set to get the job you want....get another skill set! EASY!

As you can see, there really is no reason to be stressed about your job! Stop doing that to your self. You'll be happier if you do.

Mainstream Media Is Designed to Make You Feel Inadequate

2007-09-15T08:21:00.000-04:00

If you want total happiness, stay away from media and advertising. This includes, the newspaper, television, radio, and some websites. All of these are loaded with advertising. Advertisments are designed to make you feel either inadequate, insecure, or otherwise unsafe. This is how the compel you to buy their particular product or service.

Think about it next time you see a commercial, or see an ad in print. Why else would you buy their product? If you were fine the way you are, would you need to slide some of your hard earned dollars their way? If you felt safe, would you need to pay for some security from them? Look at what the ads are saying, and think about it for your self.

I'll go even farther, and say that most fictitious stories and lyrical music have a similar effect. In this case, I don't think that is the original intent of it's creators. Often in a story or a song, there is some kind of conflict. Something that must be overcome for the protagonist to prevail. Many times, this conflict is just a metaphor for some internal obstacle that must be transcended to lead a happy productive life. Unfortunately, many people interpret these things literally, and see the world as a place full of conflict. "It must be so, if such and such an aritist expresses that sentiment", is what they think.

Even sadder still, is that many religions are designed to make you feel bad about yourself. That way, you need the church to lift you up. That concept goes beyond the aim of this post. I'll save that one for the future.

Keep your eye out for messages designed to make you feel poorly about yourself! Avoid them by staying away from media sources. Stay focused on feeling happy, and love yourself.

'til next time...

How to be Successful Every Day

2007-09-14T08:34:00.000-04:00

I'm not a genius, and I'm not going to pretend to be. I do know a few things about life, and the way the universe works. One of the most valuable things I've learned is, the better you feel, the better your life will be. If you feel really good, your performance is better, you are more able to attract success, and your overall physical health is better.

Years ago I learned a little trick, that I immediately put to work for myself. Set yourself up for a successful day by scheduling your tasks so the easiest will be completed first. Gradually, work your way up to more difficult to accomplish tasks. With each completed task you will get a little mental boost from your victory that you carry into the the next, more difficult effort. The idea here is that you use your small, easy to achieve, success, to create momentum used to tackle bigger, badder, obstacles.

When I first tried this, I was amazed at how good it worked. It really helped keep my mind focused on completion of the days goals. Let's face it, success of any kind makes you feel good! The better we feel, the better we continue to feel! Try it, it just may work for you too.

Exercise to Achieve Contentment

2007-09-13T08:52:00.000-04:00

No lenghty post today. Just a simple exercise to help you be more appreciative of yourself. You should try this, you'll like it.

The first step to being truly happy is to be happy with yourself. In this exercise I want you to write down 5 things that you love about yourself and your life. Once start you may come up with more than 5, that's fine...write them all down. Then, each morning when you wake up look at this list. This should create a frame of mind that will gear you up for a happy, successful day.

I think you will find, the more you take stock of the great things about yourself, the more you will see how wonderful your life already is.

Now, get to work on this one! Good luck!

Accept That Which is Beyond Your Control

2007-09-12T08:24:00.000-04:00

One very simple way to keep your mind focused on personal happiness, is to accept those things that life seems to throw at you. You know, the ones you have absolutely no control over...like the weather, or being stuck in traffic.

My proposal is simple, if you can't affect the circumstances in any way...don't fret over them. Sure, it's a drag when it rains heavily on the day of your big cook out. What is more important though, keeping company with family and friends...or bluebird skies? Ok, here's another one; You are stuck in an unexpected traffic jam on your way to work. You could fret about it, blow your horn, and clench the steering wheel tightly, stewing in anger and frustration...I've got a better idea though! Tune the radio into a great song and tap your toe to it. You are already late! I say enjoy your unexpected down time.

I know what some of you are thinking! "I wanted that cookout to be perfect." or "I have so much important work waiting for me!"

My question to all of you is simple. If you have no control over the circumstances that caused your perceived hardship, what good is fretting about them going to do? Will it make anything better at all? Why not just accept the current situation, and roll with it? I'm not talking about grinning and bearing it either! Truly enjoy this unexpected change of events. There will be many more cookouts on sunny days, and thousands upon thousands of hours at work. Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present. Start living accordingly!

Beyond The Little Engine That Could

2007-09-11T08:47:00.000-04:00

One of the first steps to true happiness, is keeping a positive mental attitude. I know this concept gets hammered home by many writers and motivational speakers, but I'm going to give you my take on it anyway. Maybe a different perspective will help drive it home.

Think of a positive mental attitude as going beyond "The Little Engine That Could". The little engine sure had a winning attitude that helped him prevail. I want you to take it further, and make each day a great one by keeping that happy spirit working for you. The key is to not just use the positive mental attitude to overcome adversity, you should use it to keep your over all perspective one of contentment.

One of the best tools I've found for honing my PMA (positve mental attitude) is starting my day by bringing into mind some of the many things that I'm grateful for in my life. You'd be amazed by how much this can really shape your mindset. As soon as you wake, try to mentally run through some of the things you love and appreciate in your life. As you think of each one of them, focus on how they make you feel. This should fill you with joy. Try it, you will start each day on a good note!

Some people go so far as keeping a gratitude journal, where they write down things that they are grateful for and how those things make them feel. Excercises like this can really put things in perspective. There are many books on the subject, one that is really good is: Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude

The key here is to always focus on what you do have, and what you are grateful for. Never focus on what you don't have in your life. If you focus on what you do have, and how good it makes you feel...you will be fueled with happiness! Only then will you be able to invite other good things into your life.

Good Luck! Hope these ideas hope send you on your way to true contentment.

Happiness Really is a State of Mind

2007-09-10T13:07:00.000-04:00

I know the phrase sounds rediculously simple. Happiness is a state of mind. I bet many of you will say, "Duh!", but think about what I really mean when I say that.

If it is a state of mind, why not always be happy? I'm sure you feel that sometimes you don't have a choice. Sometimes you feel that circumstances beyond your control affect your state of mind, causing you to feel something less than happy. It's a matter of choice really. Ultimately you control your feelings. All those external things that you believe to be manipulating you, only have whatever power you give them.

This concept may seem quite a stretch at first, but the aim of this blog is to help you come around to this way of thinking. My goal is to make one post every day, to help communicate my attitude of happiness and abundance. Hopefully, you too can adopt this winning mindset.